I was talking to somebody the other day who admittedly chooses the misery of his comfort zone over stepping into his empowered self, owning his self-worth, his God-given ability to choose and take matters into his own hands to create the life he so deeply desires.
Why do we do that?
Why do we stay in our comfort zone even when it’s so friggin’ miserable that it’s starting to mess with our mental, physical and emotional well-being?
BECAUSE IT FEELS SAFE. PERIOD.
We are so familiar with how to handle it even when it feels utterly miserable.
Because we’ve conditioned ourselves to work within the safety of this misery.
Staying in our comfort zone feels better than stepping out into the unknown, navigating uncharted waters, assuming personal responsibility for everything that happens to us and taking RISKS.
We have a SAFETY strategy in place that often looks like this.
If I just stick with it a little bit longer and endure, eventually my plan will come to fruition and I’ll get what I want.
- The promotion at work.
- The relationship working out.
- The business turning around…
I should know after being in a loveless marriage for 15 years hellbent on sticking it out just a little bit longer to make it work.
I was fighting an uphill battle.
It wasn’t meant to be.
And when it finally fell apart for good, I was so exhausted that it took months and a lot of therapy to put the pieces of me back together.
Hoping that things will get better by “sticking it out” is magical thinking.
Nothing is going to change by you enduring a situation and being a hope addict.
On the contrary…
When we do this, we give our power away to other people and outside circumstances that we won’t ever be able to influence and much less control.
And what happens next is that our desire spills out in all kinds of unhealthy ways because it is so desperately seeking expression.
You might be thinking to yourself but wait a minute, it’s really the outside circumstances that are so overpowering and controlling the situation that my hands are tied.
Let’s take a look at it:
If we take our emotions out of it and if we’re really being honest with ourselves, we know what it boils down to is that it’s an excuse we’re making up because at the end of the day we prefer being COMFORTABLE and we’re not YET miserable enough to feel the URGENCY to create change.
And I’m saying this lovingly to shake you loose in case you’re on the fence.
(I wish somebody had given me this tough love when I was stuck.)
Because here’s the thing:
You don’t know how long you have.
None of us do.
So, what if your plan doesn’t work out just like my 15-year plan didn’t work out?
Ponder that for a moment and then ask yourself this question:
Are you really willing to put your life on hold even for ONE more day because of outside circumstances or people controlling you?
Or are you determined to take personal responsibility, reclaim your power, take advantage of the opportunities that are presenting themselves (because you do have them and if you don’t see them, reach out, I’ll help you become aware of them)and start moving forward TODAY with what you really want.)
This is YOUR life!
The one and only that you have to live, so you might very well do it ON YOUR OWN TERMS.
God gave YOU the ability to choose and what you choose is up to you.
I’m sharing this with you today to empower you, because every week I talk to a lot of people who all have a big dream inside of them, yet so few dare to act on it because of their fear of what’s going to happen once they step out of their comfort zone.
What shook me loose was when my mentor asked me
“What do you want to do with the REST of your life?”
That was my catalyst.
What’s yours?
PS: If you’d like some support getting unstuck, please reach out and connect with me HERE to have a meaningful no-cost-to-you conversation to let me know what’s on your mind and I’m happy to help you with a resource so that you can move forward TODAY.
Simona Ksoll is a personal mentor to entrepreneurs & creatives helping them bring their big inner vision to life.
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